Seriously Stressed!


Someone put this up on the office bulletin. I am not sure when this appeared and doesn’t matter to me that I may be a tad too late to have an opinon. While this article makes Bagat seem like a champion of women, it somehow misses the mark. I have jotted down my thoughts in red….Do you agree??? If not what’s your take?

Chetan Bhagat’s Article in TOI: Specially for Indian Women!

Alright, this is not cool at all. A recent survey by Nielsen has revealed that Indian women are the most stressed out in the world: 87% of our women feel stressed out most of the time. This statistic alone has caused me to stress out. Even in workaholic America, only 53% women feel stressed.

Workaholic America?? Really??? What do you think – women don’t  do much out here?? In America they have dish washers, driers and regulated traffic! Women land up at work with hair and make up perfectly in place, not to mention erfectly co-ordinated outfits, shoes and bags! They actually had the time to shop for themselves. Here were need to deal with cheating, stealing and no good domestic help, crazy traffic where men like to blame women even when they are at fault and a bunch of other lifestyle  and moral ideas that our society in general would like its women to follow. So by the time a woman can deal with all this and do her bit and land up at work without bed hair, it is a tad harsh to expect that remains as fresh as a daisy – she would be stressed!!Try living the life of a middle class woman and you’d know!

What are we doing to our women? I think you know the answer to that! You just don’t let your women be!

I’m biased, but Indian women are the most beautiful in the world. As mothers, sisters, daughters, colleagues, wives and girlfriends – we love them. Can you imagine life without the ladies?

Ok great…finally something nice out here! But then it is the truth – India cannot survive without its women! I mean who’d do all the real work?? The actual heavy lifting in life???

For now, I want to give Indian women five suggestions to reduce their stress levels.

Please go ahead, cos by now I  can feel the stress setting in!

One, don’t ever think you are without power. Give it back to that mother-in-law. Be who you are, not someone she wished you would be. She doesn’t like you? That’s her problem.

Seriously?? If it were that simple, there would be no saas-bahu saga and what would Ekta Kapoor do?  How do you expect a woman to give it back to her mother-in-law without support from her husband?? In a country full of mamas boys, it is a very difficult challenge to win! Yes, granted a few husbands are great but then that what they are: “FEW” and in a country of billions that doesn’t count.

Two, if you are doing a good job at work and your boss doesn’t value you -tell him that, or quit. Talented, hard-working people are much in demand.

Works for someone who doesn’t need the money! For the rest, in a set up like ours, telling a jerk boss off for what he is will only add more woes to your life.. We are still way behind as far as employee rights, harassment laws and legal procedures are concerned! And the gossiping corporate males [I think by now you would surely know that men do gossip as much as if not more than women] will surely play their part. So tell us, oh knight in shining armor, how do delicate women like ourselves take care of such issues??

Three, educate yourself, learn skills, network – figure out ways to be economically independent. So next time your husband tells you that you are not a good enough wife, mother or daughter-in-law, you can tell him to take a hike.

Sure, give us some time. Stop asking those moms to quit turning their daughters into the quintessential Indian bahus and ask those men to share the duties of the household and we will definitely take a class and improve our skills, learn kick-boxing and network!

Four, do not ever feel stressed about having a dual responsibility of family and work. It is difficult, but not impossible. The trick is not to expect an A+ in every aspect of your life. You are not taking an exam, and you frankly can’t score cent per cent (unless you are in SRCC, of course). It is okay if you don’t make four dishes for lunch, one can fill their stomach with one. It is okay if you don’t work until midnight and don’t get a promotion. Nobody remembers their job designation on their dying day.

I mean come on!! Rather than telling us not to feel stressed, how about writing to those men out there to take an equal share of the dual responsibility??  Make 4 dishes?? How about a day in a week where don’t make any dishes and the men make just 1 dish?? How about it?? Oh wait! if that happened you and the rest of them wouldn’t have much to write about.  In the exam of life, even if I score 200% someone will never be happy plus I’d end up with blood pressure.

Five, most important, don’t get competitive with other women. Someone will make a better scrapbook for her school project than you. Another will lose more weight with a better diet. Your neighbor may make a six-dabba tiff-in for her husband, you don’t – big deal. Do your best, but don’t keep looking out for the report card, and definitely don’t expect to top the class. There is no ideal woman in this world, and if you strive to become one, there will be only one thing you will achieve for certain – stress.

It’s ok if you men go around town trying to outdo other men to but better cars and 52″inch plasma TV’s! You have a problem if someone less qualified or experienced than you is promoted over you but we shouldn’t be offended if other women sometimes less talented ones are better off?? And who does scrap booking out here? Who has the time?   Just look at everything that has been written above!

And if someone is packing a 6-tiifin dabba for their husband, they need to get their hubby to suscribe to a gym membership!Chetan would be proud of you.

So breathe, chill, relax. Tell yourself you are beautiful, do your best and deserve a peaceful life. Anybody trying to take that away from you is making a mistake, not you. Your purpose of coming to this earth is not to please everyone. Your purpose is to offer what you have to the world, and have a good life in return. The next time this survey comes, I don’t want to see Indian women on top of the list. I want them to be the happiest women in the world.

I am so glad that you feel that are purpose in life is not to please everyone. So stop trying to expect a wife would have the looks the Miss Universe, the attitude of a kick ass corporate babe that would bring in the money, the cooking skills of a gourmet chef, the domestic skills of the perfect maid and the character of “Sathi Savithri”. If your fellow species and their moms can stop expecting, we would not need to feel like we should be pleasing anyone but ourselves

Also, we did not know about this survey until you wrote about it. And now, you don’t want us to make it to the list and have given us more work to do….Am really stressed now!

Cherish Womanhood!! Just let us walk on the streets at 10 in the night without a threat to our lives and dignity and we might actually cherish said womanhood!

I have enjoyed reading your books, but you really need to put in more effort if you trying to be our voice..we appreciate the effort but then something is missing in your efforts.

 I am writing this as a part of UBC July 2013

 

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4 comments

  1. and I guess rather than making this a gender issue, its important to focus on how the next generation focuses their potential on becoming good human beings, rather than get stereotyped in gender roles

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