Whenever You Want

Off late, I have met people who invite us to their homes for a meal. What surprises me is not the invite per se, but the fact that they don’t set aside a date or a time for this meal. This is sometimes true even months after the invite has been communicated! When I ask the inviter when they would like us to make an appearance, I get the standard answer “whenever you want”!! This is even more stranger considering the fact that everybody knows that the invited party is never the one to confirm the date and the time – that is always on the inviting  parties “TO DO” list.  The invite is usually based on a lot of factors such as the inviter’s schedule, their ability to plan the meal, their social calendars etc.,

So me thinks that this is just another annoying desi practice to look like you are saying or doing something to be politically correct but don’t really mean it! I have also wondered what will happen if I just took their “whenever you want” time and date to heart and just turn up at their door steps with 30 minutes notice or even worse, unannounced. Wow! we would not even have to pay to watch that movie!!

I have had invites from friends who are pretty clear regarding the details of the brunch/lunch/dinner, the location and time, a date that suits both parties and sometimes even meal preferences. Of greater significance is that their invites are genuine and if they don’t want to invite someone they just don’t! They ‘ beat about the bush and dole out half-hearted or unplanned invites. And that is my style!

I hope we as a race just wise up and treat the people in our lives with the love and respect they actually deserve and not make them feel funny with even more funny formalities starting with “whenever you want” invites!



  1. True, in such cases its pretty obvious that the other party is not putting their hearts into the matter and that hurts a bit….BTW hope ur doing well! Don’t give up the home hunt 🙂

  2. What you have mentioned does happen in many families and this is because most of the invites are not the heart…My take on such invites are that they are a spur of the moment phrase regretted by the invitee later and to have a exit plan they would start saying you can come “whenever you want “.

  3. even I feel very irritated with this type of invitation..why not put a time and day….you are right that they are just being politically correct…

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