A Suitable Match – The Arranged Marriage Chronicles

“So what would you do if you won 1 million dollars?? Hari asked Shama. Shama found this to be a very weird question…Hari and Shama were talking thanks to the preliminaries of an arranged marriage. This was Shama’s first time speaking to a guy. Hari was well educated – he had a masters qualification from the most coveted university in Chennai and had also completed a Ph.D from the United States where he lived and worked. He earned a very high pay packet and was deemed an ideal catch! He had an over bearing father who declared that his son was the best thing to have happened since independent India. Hari was egoistic and thanks to his father thought he was a cut above the rest. He was meeting Shama to humor his parents who didn’t know about his  live in girl friend back in the states!!

They had ambushed Shamas parents to get their daughter to meet Hari. Shama was all of 20 years old and  completely overwhelmed by this entire process not to mention the beauty contest type of questions that were being posed by Hari who was having a good laugh at her expense. Too naive to understand his thoughts she innocently answered his questions and also discussed her dreams. When the meeting ended everyone thought that it went off brilliantly. Shamas parents never heard from Hari’s parents again….when contacted they said that Hari did not like Shama as she was not good enough for their beloved son in any way – all this after they were the ones who had imposed themselves on Shamas family to get her to meet Hari!

A hurt Shama took this insult in her stride and moved on.. 3 years down the line Shama and her parents were surprised to find that Hari’s parents were still advertising for a “suitable” match for their son on a popular South Indian cultural magazine. The advertisement appeared every month. One fine day the words on the matrimonial posting read : “Looking for a suitable match for their handsome and good natured son who was an “innocent” divorcee”………..



  1. Sometimes these arranged mrrgs ki arranged meetings are such a sham! Guys just go humor their parents but they don’t know how harmful their comments can be. I have been having several arguements with my In laws about the character assasination they do of a girl just because she refused to accept the propsal for my BIL!

  2. True Smita….but somehow this just seems to be getting worse over the years! We call ourselves the modern generation but such practices never stop and god help the girl who does not accept a proposal! Apparently Indians agree only if guys refuse and not girls! I will do another post on that…i have many stories to tell….

  3. Yeah the whole process is a sham and like your friend said comments made by the boy can cause severe depression in a girl. I can proudly say that i saw only one girl and i agreed to the marriage even without consulting my parents like most boys are advised to do so ( i was also told to tell my mother of my decision).

  4. As someone who has been through this crappy process I couldn’t agree more…And its really great that you decided to marry the girl you saw – thats pretty awesome considering the day and age 🙂 Proud to be related to you 😀

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