It’s the first day of the year and I seemed to stumble upon plenty of links with horoscope predictions for the year 2009. Curiosity took over and I read some link where some guy told me that Ganesha foresees this and that during the course of the 09. Well, if this guy was in constant touch with Lord Ganesha, I wonder why he has not been able to predict all other bad things that happen in this world, we could have probably averted the financial crisis, terrorist attacks, earth quakes, tsunamis and more.

Being brought up in a semi traditional household I am quite familiar with the process of reading ‘horror’scopes errrr…… horoscopes. Only two reactions can ensue after this amazing and sometimes expensive process. A sense of calmness combined with smugness as all is well with you even if the rest of world is rotting. The other reaction would be panic! It’s time to pull up your socks and start planning visits to various temples and appease the Gods referred to by the friendly astrologer. And expensive the process definitely is depending on what you choose. You can choose from palm reading, horoscope readings or a very future oriented process, where your fate is written on some palm leaves; if you are even familiar with the words ‘naadi josiyam’ the charade of reading you past and your future from palm leaves written several centuries ago you would nod your head in agreement. It seems that the rishis who lived 1000 of years ago knew you would make your appearance in the world far in the future and they have predicted your fate on palm leaves. An ignorant reader cannot read these leaves; reading and translating them requires a lot of special skills and the narrators at the ashram where these leaves are stored have been specially trained just to do this. Locating your leaves and translating them for you would definitely cost you a few thousands. Come on that a pretty small price when you get to know from where your daughter’s future husband is going to come from! The narrator has told you that’s it is definitely from the western direction and the guy probably lives in a house near the sea so that’s where you need to look – just take a stroll along the coastline to meet to future son in law!!! Oh! Wait it doesn’t stop there – you also get tips on how you can avert all the bad aspects that have been predicted by performing a lot of rituals around temples in India, not to forget that you have to give the ‘guru’ of the ashram some dothis and sarees along with cash and fruits as a form of ‘dakshina’. Seems ‘gurujiwouldn’t need to shop all year for himself and his family. And those who got a peek into their futures would probably see no difference in their way of life in spite of following everything that was suggested very religiously. Seems these men with super powers can replace the need for a God and even the most educated and wise people fall for this. In the mean time I wonder if the archaeology department of India even validated these leaves and shouldn’t these be in some museum as they are priced treasures from the past?

I see astrology as a form of guidance – it can never be perfect and should never be commercialized. Most of these ‘astrologers’ out there are more interested in draining our wallets rather than really analyzing our stars. I am always ready to listen to wise mind but not one that tells me that he can give me a detailed reading if I am ready to part with a few cool thousands and of course he might just make me do that considering that he just hinted of something very terrible in the years to come. If mere mortals could avert all crises, there would be no need for the Supreme Being. However mere mortals cannot replace the man above – the one that I’d like to call ‘the boss’. ‘The boss’ rocks and rules and occasionally allows a few chosen ones to guide the helpless creatures he has put down on this earth. But he definitely did not ask them to create a business out of it. That’s my case and I am sticking to it! Hopefully people get wiser and sensible to guidance and spirituality rather than spending like crazy to know if they would travel abroad!

In the mean time please amuse yourself with these funny horoscopes – they are bound to make you laugh. I found it extremely hilarious.




  1. yeah, i agree that it must be used as aguidance. But u know what happens, when one face too many problems in the life and is unable to cope with them..one is at a vulnerable best d that time anything is like a godsend. and thats what happens all the time.

  2. “Horrorscopes” a good one but as said it can be a moral booster or something to perk up your courage and ego!! But have you ever wondered as how with a finger print impression they are able to cast to your horoscope and bring out your past history in Naadi

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